As a soon to be married woman, I have been bombarded with the solicited and unsolicited financial advice of those who have already taken the plunge.  Luckily my fiancé and I were able to find our happy medium where we both felt not only appreciated but valued in our contribution to OUR home.  During this journey to marital bliss it has been extremely interesting to hear feedback from different married couples regarding their finances and how they split the major concepts of married life ie. household responsibilities, childcare and other incidentals.  More often then not men are adamant regarding the idea of a 50/50 financial split, quick to say what’s yours is mine when they really mean what’s yours is mine as long as you are only taking 50% of it.  That idea leads me to the question of:  If a marriage is operating under the idea of 50/50, does that 50/50 split count for every aspect of the marriage?

When the house needs tidying will the man sweep, mop and vacuum while the woman dusts, does the laundry and cleans the kitchen? Or when a couple comes home from a hard day of work will the woman boil the water, clean the vegetables, and season the meat while the man cooks the broccoli, makes sure the meat doesn’t burn, and prepare the dessert? When the newborn baby is up crying all night will the couple take turns calming the baby until he/she falls asleep?

In most households, notice I say most because I know there is someone reading this blog who will surely respond NOT my household, but in most households who cooks, who cleans, and who takes care of the children? I can hear my readers responding, screaming, WOMEN or ME!

So I ask you, is it really a 50/50 world when it comes to marriage or is it just 50/50 when it’s convenient?

Have you noticed lately that people are hiding behind a phone, laptop, desktop, or I-Pad. It is amazing to me how so many people seem to “grow a pair” when they are not face to face with you. This observation goes beyond the drama that many readers are thinking of and unfortunately makes its way into our everyday interactions with friends, family and associates.

When is the the last time that you picked up the phone to tell someone Happy Birthday or for that matter when is the last time that you remembered someones birthday without that friendly reminder provided by the Facebook gods? Our simple interactions that make us human have been replaced by text messages, tweets, and status updates essentially making us overly dependent on technology.

The term “KEYBOARD CONFIDENCE” was mentioned by a friend of mine as she discussed the ability of individuals to only express their true feelings via electronics. For me, “KEYBOARD CONFIDENCE” can be equated to the old adage that a drunk mind is a sober tongue. People use email and text messages and give the excuse of ” oh that was not what I was saying you know how the tone of an email can be”. Or my personal favorite, the over used ‘LOL’ that comes at the end of a sentence to subconsciously lessen the blow. The reality is that the ‘LOL’ does not change the fact that you may have just insulted or belittled someone without skipping a beat. It surely does not lessen the blow for the person who clearly knows what you really wanted to say without the ‘LOL’!

So at the end of the day say what you mean and mean what you say, I am sure that we would all appreciate your honesty without the assistance of your electronic sac!

Far too often we witness our loved ones depressed about the unexpected absence of a man or woman from their life.  I can remember looking in the mirror wondering who was looking back after allowing a man to dictate my happiness.  When life smacks us in the face we can often question what we could have done differently, how could we have convinced him to stay?  The question that is asked far too rarely is; why didn’t I stay? 

 Why is it that in a relationship we manage to put our dreams and aspirations on the back burner in order to make sure “he” is ok?  How do we often manage to make sacrifices and compromises when we never see the same from our other half?  Don’t get me wrong I understand that some of us out here have it down pat or at least think we do.  The reality is that there are far too many of us putting everything and everyone in front of ourselves, not realizing that at the end of the day we will be so much better to so many people if we had our s%@t together.

 If you look in the mirror before, during, or after that relationship and you no longer see YOU, it is time to make serious changes.  Only through the true exploration of self can we be anything to anyone.  In the words of my GSquared Mr., First Love Is Self Love! Do you love yourself today?

So I would consider myself a bonafide weight loss expert, trying pretty much every weight loss plan on the market and even creating a few of my own.  What have I done?….

Atkins (low carb)- I have always loved meat and absolutely love cheese but yea this one didn’t work for me because that was pretty much so all I liked on the menu list.

Dr. Ian’s Fat Smash Diet – Yea that was cute but ummm that detox with just vegetables became really old really fast!

Dr. Ian’s 4 Day Diet- Didn’t want to give up on the good doctor so I gave it a try and yes it works but who really wants to essentially go to the grocery store every 4 days?

Dr. Beale (The DC Magic Dr.!) – Cherado herself recommended this one and it truly works I lost about 6 lbs in the first 6 days, it was like magic.  Then I woke up one morning and really wanted a cupcake! I know sad right?

THE MASTER CLEANSE – last but certainly not least my magic pill, the Master Cleanse can get anyone right in a small amount of time if they stay dedicated to it.  Of course there is a catch, as soon as you jump off of it the weight can and will jump right back on.

As you can read above I have tried a bunch of stuff, as I think about my constant weight loss struggle I remember the days when all I had to do was dedicate 2 weeks to the gym and good clean food.  Where have the years gone?  Where did my metabolism go? Quite frankly it went to Ruth Chris, Lauriol Plaza, Hello Cupcake and Total Wine & Beverage!  I have allowed myself to dictate my mood based on food rather than basing it on that good feeling in the morning after an hour on the treadmill or elliptical.

So the question now is how do I get back on track?  I know there are several women and men out there dealing with the same issues, being dedicated to something for 5 to 10 days and then as soon as someone says, “you look good” we treat ourselves and never look back until our behind is looking back at us in the Macy’s dressing room!  In the category box I marked Food, Lifestyles, Love, and Relationships because for me weight loss is all of those things.  Some may say “girl you are crazy, you are just fine”, but my 156 is not their 156 just like my 135 will not be their 135, yes I am claiming it!  So as we move into 2011 I am committed to making it happen! Finding ways to speed up my metabolism that I can’t find on an infomercial or down the aisle in GNC.  I will commit myself to living life better, making better decisions.  I commit to running like I did when training for a 10miler.  Most of all I commit to losing it and keeping it off!  WAIT, WHO AM I FOOLING!!! BRING ON THE CUPCAKES AND LET ME WASH IT DOWN WITH SOME WATER LIKE A TRUE GEMINI!!!

Thickly Yours,